Things Happen For a Reason

I am a firm believer in this. All things happen for a reason. Most often, we have no clue why something is happening or what we are supposed to learn from an experience! I for one have always had to learn the hard way. My life trials have not come easy, and this is something I have just learned to accept. That doesn’t mean I don’t go down kicking and screaming asking God why, it just means that when it is all done and over with most of the time I can look back and thank God for the trials he has put me through.

Just recently I have experienced another huge trial in my life! This is something I solely put myself into and often questions my actions and thoughts but this did not stop me. I still wonder why. The end result was life changing for me, more than I can ever explain to someone. But what I do know now is I was walking the wrong path. I wasn’t headed in the right direction and I didn’t even know it.  God knocked at my door several times on several different occasions and I wasn’t listening, and if I had heard him, I shut him out and kept on truck’n with my day to day life!  He knew I wasn’t listening, he knew I had turned my back, so for that he knew it would take something drastic to make me wake up and hear him.

Is it actually quiet sad that normally it DOES take something drastic, something catastrophic to happen in our lives for us to turn to our Heavenly Father.  I know, I have been very guilty of this in the past, and in the present.  What I can tell you is something catastrophic did happen in my life, our lives, and it took that very bad thing for me to feel the lowest of all lows, and then to pray and pray and ask God to let me be still and listen. I was ready to hear him!  For me to know what I am supposed to be doing and where I am supposed to be. Funny thing is, I am right where I am supposed to be. I am supposed to be home, with my son and with my husband. I have been where I am needed and fought it this whole time.

I only worked two days a week at the hospital, and I really did love my job and the people I worked with. For the last several months I have been so un-happy with all the changes at work and with the low moral I felt every time I was there. I could be in the best mood on my way to work, feeling that everything was so wonderful and the day would be great.  I would walk into the building, the elevator would open on the third floor and the closer I got the unit the more drained I felt. This feeling would continue throughout my 12 hr shift. By the time I got home at nine o’clock at night I was beat and in a horrible mood.  I felt like I was working night shift again, having to take the whole next day to recuperate for ONE shift.  Not only was it affecting me that day, it was affecting everything in my life and most of all my relationship. Wes and I had talked about me quitting, he was more for it than I was. Like I said I liked my job, I liked the people. and I DON’T like change.  So most likely I would have never left.  As all people I can only be pushed so far. We all have a limit, and now that I am not there, I am hearing there are a lot more people at this limit.

I can honestly tell you I am so much happier where I am now. When I say this some people have asked, where… where are you? I am HOME! I am home with my son taking care of him, watching him grow and become and very outgoing, handsome young man. I get to teach him, I have more patience with him and with Wes. I feel I have more time in my day for HIM. I am able to have dinner made for my husband and I am able to keep up on our laundry, and I have NOT HAD ONE MIGRAINE since I have been home for the last two weeks… Okay well maybe one, but that is better than three or four in a week!

I am happy, my family is happy and that is all the matters. It is just too bad it took a swift kick in the pants for me to wake up and realize what God was saying. Now I just have to remember he WILL provide for us. Every trial we go though in life is only to make us stronger,and to strengthen our walk with HIM! I want to be like Peter in Acts 12. Knowing he was going to be put to death he was able to sleep,  a heavy sleep. I want to be able to trust in the Lord like Peter did. I am not in control, we are not in control … He is and we need to trust in him.