“When the apple is ready, it will fall from the tree” ~

According to my dad this is something my Grandma always said. Although, I find truth in this, I have having a hard time with it at the moment. What is the tree is ready to let go of the apple? What is the tree wants to see the apple be apart from it and see it shine as one and not being “connected” to the tree. Why am I sitting here comparing myself to a darn tree.. ugh! I am at that point in my pregnancy that I feel defeated. I feel like I have been fighting to keep it together for nine months and now I am physically and emotionally ready to give up.

I know that this is supposed to be a joyous time in our lives and I should enjoy every minute of this pregnancy, especially since it will be my last, but I am having a hard time today. My patience with Logan dwindle with each day and I HATE that I get so frustrated with him. He probably thinks I am one looney person  crying for no reason or when the only thing I am mad about it that ALL of his toys are spread across my living floor again and I have to crawl around to pick them up. It takes so much energy to do the little things and that is driving me nuts.  I am really trying to be patient and I know that I am not in control of this situation but I want to see my little girl.

This is going to sound really bad, but I am only 36.2 weeks pregnant. So there is no reason why I should be complaining now. I should have at least waiting a week. After going to my ultrasound appointment on Tues and finding out that she is already weighing 7lbd 9oz made me a little anxious. I really DO NOT want to push out a 9-10lb kid. That really just doesn’t sound fun to me and frankly I like my woohoo is one piece. I don’t want to have to call Dr. 90210 to fix my privates because I gave birth to a 12lb kid. Yes, I know that people have 10lb babies all the time. Remember I worked in Labor and Delivery, I was there, I saw them give birth, and power to them, but that is NOT my cup of tea…. No thank you.

so, plan of action from here. I am now a good 3-4cm and 60% effaced so I have my next apt on Tuesday and my doc is going to strip my membranes and hope that puts me in labor. Regardless we are going to schedule an amino for wed. or Thurs. to see if her lungs are mature. If they are, we shall induce, if not, we wait a week and induce.  So yes, there is light at the end of the tunnel. But for someone like me who is very impatient… I would like to be on the other side of that tunnel right now looking back.

The joys of being a woman. . . Ha! Just give me a couple weeks and I will have a post complaining about all the NON sleep I am getting due to having a newborn in the house. Nothing can be worse than Logan, so bring it on, I am ready!!

Baby Shower

Last Saturday I was honored with a baby shower thrown by one of my closest friends. I am so, so, so thankful to have the most amazing friends. It truly means so much to me. I met Lindsay 6 years ago when she started working at Loma Linda. Not in a million years did I ever think we would have become this close. She has the most amazing family and I also love that our husbands get a long and we can hang out. Linds offered to throw my baby shower months ago and I will thrilled to hear it. I told her I wanted easy and not to go all out, but of course she put all her effort into it and it came out great. It was a mix between family and friends, but I have to say my Loma Linda girls stole the show!!! They are all such a funny, outgoing group of woman. I am so thankful that I was able to meet them during my time at LLU and to still be able to call them friends even though I am no longer working there.

Here are some on the many pictures from the shower. I really cannot believe I am putting these up here. I guess you really don't know what you look like until you see pictures of yourself. I am normally the person behind the camera and after seeing these I am glad! I feel really good this pregnancy and I have hardly gained any weight, but after seeing these I know I have a lot of work to do after Bailey comes.. bye bye double chin.

All the Loma Linda girls.

The preggo girls minus Cheryl.

Miss Lindsay, my wonderful friend and the HOST

ahhh.. the DHCKS minus K. The girls I have known my whole life.

Holy cheese ball.

Of course my laptop is being difficult and I cant get the other pictures at the moment.

For a preggo update.

I am now 35.6 weeks. I had a apt last week and my doctor checked me.. I am 3-4cm dilated but Bailey hasn’t really dropped yet. I have been having a lot of cramping and contractions here and there. I have only gained 9lbs this pregnancy, which doesn’t say much when you are already fat, but I am proud. I think I gained a good 50 with Logan so I plan on losing that asap.

Bailey seems to be on her own schedule, which is fine by me as long as she comes out healthy. I will try to keep you posted. We are just trying to make it thru this week with her still inside!!!